Welcome to the 2009 Gratz Family Spectacular! For the next three weeks you will be experiencing the glory, the tears, the sweat, and the heartbreak that accompanies the 2009 NCAA College Basketball Tournament. To begin your journey, you must prepare yourself for the roller-coaster ride that occurs each March. This month all of you will experience the typical (and inevitable signs) that you are participating in the Gratz Family Spectacular (hearby referred to as GFS). These include (but are not limited to):
1. A series of coordinated screams and shouts, emanating simultaneously from Lansing, MI and San Ramon, CA.
2. A normally polite kindergarten teacher screaming "Turney!" when a certain spouse drops the "F bomb" in front of both guests and kids.
3. The jumping up and down around a living room, resulting in A) one spilled beverage B) a pulled muscle or tweaked knee, or C) the scaring of a small child or pet.
4. A discernible increase in the amount (and desperate nature) of basketball-related daily prayer.
5. Some hysterical crying by an "unnamed" Washington fan in Ann Arbor, MI.
6. Several end-of-weekend updates, written by the administrator of the Gratz Family Spectacular (with our own group results).
Without further adieu, the players in this years GFS and their brackets:
Lynne "Superfox" Gratz, playing the "BL's Bracket." --- Hoping to follow up a strong debut in the 2008 Tournament, baby Lynne is relying on a combination of savy expertise, roll-the-dice logic, and brazen but proven luck. Will she be able to follow up her savvy rookie performance of last year, or will 2009 be the year of the sophomore curse for this brown-haired beauty?
Turney "TG" Gratz, playing the "TG" Bracket. --- The dean of the GFS, this year the papa bear has some stiff competition from dudes and daughters alike. The million dollar question hinges on if Turney will be blinded by the "green curtain" - that indefatigable and persistent urge to pick Michigan State to advance, advance, and advance. Tune in on Thursday at noon to see if Turney beat the green curtain, or if St. Patrick's day will again cast a green hue on Lansing that will last the rest of March.
Jeanne "Jeanne G" Gratz, playing the "Jeanne" bracket. --- Queen of all Michigan State fans, this year Jeanne hopes to draw on a secret source of predictive power that only the genius possess and the insane lament. Jeanne likes to play it cool, but experts know that a basketball god visited Jeanne last year (taking the form of Drew Neitzel) who told her the winner of the next ten tournaments. Only time will tell if Jeanne will choose to use her secrets this year, or if she will save it for another run.
Rebecca "pringle_rebecca" Pringle, playing the "go green!" bracket --- Known is some parts as the 'master of multitasking' this MSU grad pretends to be only limitedly interested in watching 19 year old kids throw a ball around for 40 minutes. But the smartest observers know that while it may seem like she is simultaneously tending to 1-3 excited offspring, teleconferencing a work meeting, and baking chicken nuggets, she actually is keenly following the college basketball emanating from the other room. Don't forget your march maxim: Best Brackets bet on Beck!
Lauren "leitaolauren" Leitao, playing the "L-Train" bracket. --- Listen up, all you chicagoans riding public transportation! Don't underestimate just how far the L train will go! L train is gonna run her bracket fast and hard, and she's gonna go so far you better not miss the stop! She's bringing some wicked moves, straight from Morseland all the way up and down your sh*t, so you kids better bring your A game or just step off before the L train puts the smack down on your brackets. Yeaauuuhhhh.
Danny "dannyleitao" Leitao, playing the "D Money" bracket. --- The second of our Chicago based participants, D money plans to take the L train to school!!! While it may be tempting to focus on the "chicago v. chicago" match between D money and the L train, don't sleep on his chances to win it all. Opponents know that to beat D money you need to distract him with meat. Ribs, Chicken, Lamb, Pork, Braziliian "all you can eat barbeque" served on swords...you better bring out all the stops to get D money to the point where he is no longer paying attention to his brackets, and is only "eating for pain."
Conrad William "cdub" Pringle, playing the "Get your Suton for the Dance" bracket. --- This year cdub has to be considered the odds-on favorite and savvy veteran. While upstarts might be tempted to pick a newcomer, smart money has cdub dancing all the way. But, as was true for the papa bear, Cdub has to overcome the blinding brightness of the green curtain. This year we ask, will Cdub benefit from being one of the truest fans, the most dedicated disciples of the Church of Izzo, and get rewarded for his faith? Nobody in Ann Arbor is sure which way Cdub will play it...will he pick MSU to go all the way, or will his basketball IQ overcome his MSU heart? Its a true toss up.
Bacon "my_bacon_log" Explosion, playing "Bacon's Picks" bracket. --- This year the Bacon Explosion gained fame at the Superbowl, where this giant meat torpedo delighted audiences with his 7000+ calories and 500+ grams of fat. This March the Bacon Explosion has returned - not in actual form - but as a way for the rest of the field to see how the "favorites" are doing. Bacon Explosion picked the favored seed in every match-up, representing the picks of the tournament committee who placed the field. Bacon is a good benchmark for everyone. Did you beat the Bacon? Or did Bacon beat you? Did you eat the Bacon? Will the Bacon get eaten by the D money meat master? Only time will tell.
And finally, your administrator, Tyler "tacornelius" Cornelius, playing the "Pac 10 Represents (Tyler's picks)" bracket. --- A tried and true Washington fan, Tyler suffers from an acute case of home team optimism. While others suffer from green curtains, Tyler's curtains are purple (and so is the rest of his furniture). Incapable of looking at a Pac 10 game objectively, Tyler has picked all of the Pac 10 teams to advance in the first round, and three to make the sweet 16. Would anyone in their right mind pick this outcome, especially this year? Probably not, but nonetheless, he can't help it. So it goes.
So there you have it....
Will MSU run long and deep into March?
Will the L train take all of D Money's mojo?
Will the superfox wipe the floor with the competition (like last year)?
Will Washington fans around the world rejoice?
We'll see...very soon!
Sincerely,
Your Administrator
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