May Menu

From my email to Lynne, earlier today:

Dear Superfox,

Since you like "sciency" documents, here is my morning menu, redacted into a timeline format for accuracy:

9:02 Sit down at desk and begin work

9:04 Decide I am hungry, begin to plan appropriately.

9:05 Eat entire sandwich. Decide it was "mush smaller than expected."

9:08 Eat entire bag of cheese curls. Yummy. Decide cheese curls are "like crack cocaine."

9:15 Eat Nectarine. Decide that nectarines are good, "but they are not cheese curls."

9:18 Consider what I am now going to do for lunch, resume focus on work, ignore pathetic wimpering coming from my mid-stomach. Noise sounds like, "more, please."

11:45 Drink some soup.

12:15 Drink some stanky drip coffee filled with coffee mate.

12:55 - 1:02 Eat Salad, yummy!

1:03 Lick excess dressing out of tupperware container.

1:05 Curse the WW (weight watcher) gods, covet donuts and cookies sitting only two doors away.

1:06 Email extremely cute girlfriend, fully apraise her of situation, resume prayer to the WW gods.

1:12 Finish email timeline, discover almond has fallen to the ground. Consider my place in the universe. Eat Almond. Pray for more scraps on the floor.

1:14 Send email.